


Overworked

by VampirePaladin



Category: Drive Angry (2011), Edge of Tomorrow (2014)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Hell, Time Loop, Trick or Treat: Monster Mash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 11:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12409089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampirePaladin/pseuds/VampirePaladin
Summary: Will someone, please, consider the strain time loops place on Hell?





	Overworked

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thedevilchicken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedevilchicken/gifts).



Every job had their busy days, their busy times. Even the Soul Reclamation Department had them. Their busy days tended to all happen at once, the type of things that would cause a large amount of death for humans didn’t tend to stop when the sun set. Wars, plagues, accidents, famines, you name it and the Soul Reclamation Department could handle it. That is they could handle it, the current war that the humans were involved with had brought in a new wrinkle that still had Hell reeling.

The Accountant sat in his office chair. An upside down top hat was placed on the floor on the other side of the room. One by one he’d draw a tarot card from a deck and fling it across the room, trying to get them into the hat. 

There was a knock on the doorframe of his open door. A horned demon with scales stuck his head in, “Hey, shouldn’t you be out there picking up the souls of the dead with the others?”

“Yep.” He flung the Tower card, narrowly missing the hat.

“Are you going to stop that and do your job?”

“Nope.”

“You do know that there is a massive battle going on between the humans and the mimics right now, don’t you?”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed the last three hundred times we’ve gone to collect the souls of the humans that died in the battle only to have Major Cage die, again, and time resets. Then everyone having to rush to get all the souls back to Earth and into their now living bodies because being soulless tends to cause metaphysical issues. It just makes more sense,” he flung the Eight of Pentacles, which landed in the hat, “to leave the souls where they are and collect them once this whole thing is over.”

It was bad enough when it was just the mimics resetting things, at least it only usually took them a few tries before they stopped resetting a particular battle. First Sergeant Vrataski and then Major Cage had managed to gain the mimics’ ability to reset time. Sergeant Vrataski took five hundred ninety-six loops before she stopped resetting. Going by his rate of progress it looked like Major Cage would be surpassing that number. 

The demon sighed and said, “They’re serving pizza in the cafeteria.” He was clearly giving up.

“Oh, pizza does sound good.”


End file.
